WORKING MAMA DIARIES - EMBRACING NEW CHANCES AT HAPPINESS
May 13, 2018
It’s been a while, folks - I hope you’ve been enjoying my instagram and insta stories in the meantime! I’ve been quiet over here because, well, contrary to my ever-so-peachy insta stories, things have not been all sunshine and palm trees and beach days all the time. I mean, I’m not going to lie, there’s been a notable increase in all of those things since moving to sunny Miami, but, as it turns out, change is hard.
If you know me in person, you may know that I'm nostalgic to a T. I'm terrible at goodbyes and I have the hardest time throwing away keepsakes. Add to this a type A personality and a healthy dose of impatience, throw in a dash of risk aversion (I’m a lawyer after all, what can I say...) and there you have it. Nice to meet you, “I-hate-change” is my middle name.
But, this post - really, this blog! - is not about how hard life is. Sure, we all need to vent and get it off our chests sometimes, and that's life. This space though - this space I've consciously created as a happy place, as a different kind of outlet, as an uplifting and inspirational space, both for myself and for anyone that cares to read it.
The past couple of years have been... maybe the happiest of my whole life. Pregnancy and motherhood have made me whole in a way that I wasn't expecting. They've made me, for the first time in my life, slow down a little bit, do some soul searching, find my middle, explore my boundaries and strive for the right mix of work, family, friends, exercise and leisure to go to bed satisfied and wake up excited. And isn't that, at the end of the day, what life is all about? The pursuit of happiness, or so they say.
With that in mind, it shouldn't come as a surprise that any change is even more unappreciated than it normally would be. If it ain't broke, don't fix it - right?
Except, if this experience has taught me anything, it's that that's not really how life works. We all change, almost daily. Our kids get older and their needs change, our schedules change, our desires and our priorities and our hopes and dreams change, let alone our taste and style. (Let me tell you that after looking at many a house for sale and thinking "hey, these 50 shades of beige and brown must have been cool in the 90s", you'll appreciate that some things that aren't exactly "broken" desperately need fixing!)
So, with varying success depending on the day, I've resolved not to wallow in my homesickness for New York, but to embrace new chances at happiness. And there are three little quotes that have been a tremendous help for me that I want to share with you guys.
My favorite piece of wisdom is something my former boss shared with me: "People hate to lose way more than they like to win." Reminding myself that some of the wallowing is normal and natural and a product of having experienced a lot of awesome, lets me appreciate the sentiment, but also helps me focus on the winning side of things. How lucky to have had the past two years to fill up my happy-battery to the brim as a back up for more challenging moments. And how exciting to have new friends to meet, a new city to explore, new things to learn at work, and yes, of course, the weather.
Motherhood itself has driven home the second piece of truth I've been repeating to myself day in and day out: "Everything is a phase." It has helped me through sleepless nights, bouts of separation anxiety, copious amounts of food thrown on the floor and many an object that ended up in a certain little man's mouth (cat food, anyone?). And while it is a piece of advice designed for parents of young kids, I've found that it still rings true in adulthood. Trusting the process is a challenge for most of us control-freaks-anonymous, so do it while recognizing that the things you can control, like hard work, checking in with ourselves and staying on course in our hunt for happiness, are just as much part of that process as the lucky breaks and the freak accidents.
And I'll leave you with the third one, which is a quote I've had on my facebook page since the days when quotes were still something you put on your facebook page... "Things work out the best for those who make the best out of the way things work out." It's a long one - go ahead and read it again - but it is oh so true. Attitude gets you more than halfway there.
With that, here's to dreaming big and to embracing those new chances at happiness. Who knows, life might get even more beautiful!